Ridiculous shit: Cast Your Baby Bump

As a parent to be, I’m encountering many wild and wonderful new things. There is an entire economy of random shit that has been built around child rearing.

Babies are big business, and there are thousands upon thousands ready to descend on your mixed bag of parental emotions: Pride, uncertainty, paranoia and aspiration.

Cast your Bump

Cast your Bump – because your tik habit made you unable to wait for the bronzing of the baby booties

Introducing Cast Your Bump. This valiant little entrepreneurial venture from Vredehoek in Cape Town has found a unique niche: Creating a cast of your baby belly. Because, clearly, we’ve moved beyond the zefness of bronzing your baby’s shoes. Find Cast Your Bump on Facebook, and bless your home with a very useless piece of shit.

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Introducing The Unexpecting Dad

The Unexpecting Dad is a modern idiot. The man who manages to impregnate his girlfriend in the age of all manner of contraceptives.

Despite this slip in judgement he’s chinning up. He’s preparing for the arrival in a manner of a zombie apocalypse, charting the course through a minefield of new products, services, conversations and philosophies – all with one end goal in mind: Kick Ass Dadhood

As the Unepecting Dad I hope you enjoy the journey as I take on the challenge with the Laughing One – my partner in crime and very significant other – as we take the roller coaster ride of a lifetime: The birth of our child.

That shit just happened – Or so it begins!

It’s just another day.

It’s a Monday, the day before my 30th Birthday.

I’m minding my own business.

I’m mildly anxious about hitting the big 3-0. Thirty.

But life is on the up and I might be stuck in a rut.

Then I get a friendly What’s App message from my beautiful and long-suffering girlfriend.

‘Boom’

There I was, just getting on with life, wading through another Monday morning at work – when out of nowhere my girlfriend kindly informs me that she is, in fact, without question, with child.

That’s right! My demon spawn has managed to traverse the treacherous journey up her Fallopian tubes. A great swimmer, a remarkable athlete.

Score!

We have a winner! The crowd goes wild!!!

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What do you do? WTF do YOU do? WTF do you DO?

Your world has just ended. Your commitment to another human being sealed. You have just started something that will be a part of your life FOREVER.

You celebrate I guess.

Unexpecting Dad